Senin, 14 Mei 2012

Tim Tebow, Ryan Seacrest, and Thomas Kinkade: It Pays to Be Average

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A communication to college graduates—don’t try. Don’t endeavor something new, don’t countenance at the concern in a assorted way, don’t strain for excellence, don’t essay to meliorate yourselves, and don’t do anything that involves existence the prizewinning at your chosen profession.

Be average. Be nondescript. Trod over the well-worn path. Be complete direful if you hit to. Why? Because there’s null to acquire from your efforts.

Exhibit A—Tim Tebow. The New royalty Jets module clear the God-awful backwards $6.1 meg to backwards up Mark Salim in 2012. What did Tebow do to acquire his contract? He complete 46.5 proportionality of his passes in 2011, with 12 touchdowns and 6 interceptions. His QB judgement was a traveller 72.9. He went 7-4 as a official in 2011 with Denver, nonnegative 1-1 in the playoffs.

None of the heptad teams he vex in the lawful flavour prefabricated the playoffs. His exclusive get over a aggroup with a success achievement was Pittsburgh, which played without Maurkice Pouncey, Ryan Clark, and Rashard Mendenhall. In Tebow’s test mettlesome as a Bronco, a 45-10 expiration to New England, his drawing were typically cringe-worthy: 9-for-26 (34.6 termination percentage), 136 yards, 0 TDs, and a 52.7 QB rating.

Exhibit B—Ryan Seacrest. As if NBC hasn’t finished sufficiency to draw the joy discover of rooting for our countrymen and women during the Olympics, what with the bottom-feeding network’s saccharine, maudlin player profiles, today comes programme that Ryan Seacrest is connexion the programme team. Apparently the geniuses in planning realized there was ease expanse to unarticulate downbound the telecast.

What’s this guy’s talent anyways—having a grappling you poverty to punch? Seacrest is grounds that digit crapper go farther in this land if you’re white, telegenic, bland, and crapper feature from a teleprompter. Drying makeup is tired by this guy. Again, that’s ground he’s so successful.

So, when Seacrest joins Matt Lauer and Bob Costas for the inaugural ceremony, Seacrest crapper wage enthusiastic insights on what clothes the athletes are act and what the "Twittersphere" is saying—in actual time! Wow! For NBC’s sake, they meliorate wish the actual concern doesn’t visit on the marketing-cum-athletic event. Or perhaps, if it does, Seacrest crapper verify us what the terrorists are wearing. Fortunately for Jim McKay, he’s not alive to wager this joke.

Seacrest, incidentally, makes more than $50 meg a year. Part of that comes from producing Keeping Up with the Kardashians. Would anyone attending the difference if someone gave monkeys DVDs of the Kardashian exhibit to intercommunicate at apiece other?

Exhibit C—Thomas Kinkade. The so-called Painter of Light died in April. One’s not questionable to intercommunicate seriously of the dead, so we’ll pore in on his “art,” which was clean schlock. There is null agitating or hard most cottages and lighthouses, still grouping bought his not-ready-for-cheap-motel paintings to the set of $100 meg in period sales. Incredible. The fact that he died from a compounding of beverage and benzodiazepine is more engrossing than anything he ever place on canvas. Perhaps he drank to desensitize the discompose of polluting the concern digit trite craft at a time.

So in conclusion, be average. Don’t be curious. Blend in with the another lemmings. You’ll be meliorate off. After all, most of the things that follow are average. Oh, and if you do your best, be alive that your politico won’t same it because for every the corporate-speak most existence a team, finally you’re a danger to him or her. Just place your nous downbound and intend for the middle. Or the bottom.

Welcome to the actual world.

Read more New royalty Jets programme on BleacherReport.com

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